Monday, September 30, 2013

No idea post

I've been wanting to write lately even though I'm lacking of ideas. I guess the sound of the clicking keyboards is rather therapeutic..? Weird Atika is weird.

So, last last Saturday, I went to a school in Kapar to teach (Haha imagine me being a teacher pfft). This time around, I decided to teach English. I know my English sucks ball but I'm so bored teaching mathematics. Believe me, I suck without calculator.

I entered the class room to see only few students were there. I'm not gonna teach the whole class, duh. I saw  a Malay boy sitting at the corner of the class, aged 14 to 15 maybe? I'm not being selective here but I guess I should try to teach my own  race now because it would be easier to communicate when theyre well-versed in Bahasa. I can't speak Tamil or Chinese, so...
As the one who teaches, I hate it when the situation becomes so formal. I aim to keep it casual, yet still beneficial to the student.

And yes, I managed to make the shy boy talked! Found out that his favorite subject is English. & his interest lies in the field of language. But he admit that he can't speak, write, or understand English that much. After telling him several tips to learn English, including getting a dictionary, he went on by saying "Saya dah kumpul duit nak beli dictionary, tapi ayah tak suka saya cakap bahasa inggeris. Dia tak bagi saya beli dictionary." That statement broke my heart. Someone with so much potential  not getting any support from the most important person in their life. Seriously, I never thought this kind of mentality still exists?

But come to think of it, I too had received some negative feedback when I tried speaking in English. I do love English once. I spoke in English sometimes but instead of getting some support, I received comments saying "bajet la". It was quite depressing to the extend where I no longer speak in English. & my English skill deteriorates since then. AND I NO LONGER LOVE LANGUAGE TILL NOW.

Okay, back to the little boy's story, I was so touched by his genuine passion that I gave him my brand new, tak baca lagi reader's digest. I promised him I'd come back. I will. To see someone in need of help, I can't just sit still and not contribute anything.

And thus, this is also an appreciation post to my parents. I came to realize that not every parents are as supportive as mine. Though my mother can't speak English that much, she will do anything to make sure I can at least speak in English. My father who will always give endless support, in every forms to make me a better human. Thank you ma & pa.


emo post

I am the type of girl who is easily influenced by songs & lyrics.
"Run" by Leona Lewis is playing in my iPod right now. 
Sad lyrics, sad rhythm. 

Call me a dramatic but I could relate some things to the lyrics. Things that I don't want to remember. Things that I barely acknowledge as memories. Things that I forgot I had once. 
And fuck me, it's only 3.46 p.m. I'm disobeying the law of being emotional. Haha, not saying that there is a fixed time to emo. But, come to think of it, who the hell emo in the evening? After class some more. Okay, I believe that's not the issue.

Seriously, I just want to get over this phase. It's been some time since I had those butterflies in my tummy kinda thing. I'm not interested to experience it again, for now. Really. But, feelings are inevitable. I tried to push it away but degil sangat datang balik at times :( 

I think I'm just playing my role as a girl, a teenage girl with unstable emotion really well huh.