C-c-c-ollege

They said College would be sucks. That was bullshit. College is totally wonderful. Really.

I registered alone. Literally alone. My mother just dropped me off at the main university. With plenty documents in my hand, I tried to look as calm as I could that day. Of course it was a nervous and some what important event of my life. Registering to college, for the first time. Alone. Haha, but I'm used to it, doing stuff alone. To summarize it all up, everyone was wonderful, friendly. I'm really glad by that part; friendly people. The orientation mainly revolved around "subjects briefing, scholarship application, how to choose suitable subjs" etc etc. It was okay, but kinda boring. But I was so glad there's no crappy orientation event like aerobic, ragging and whatnot.

Enough with orientation story (it was a 2 day orientation). It has been almost two weeks since class has started. I got to say that I feel kinda lost in class. I've been placed in a specific group for the recipients, which is Group K. I don't even know what's the point of them doing that. Why can't they just let us mix with others too. Okay, maybe I won't see the reason now, but hopefully one day I'll understand. Being in those group, like I said, really make me feel small, inferior somehow. They are so ultimately genius kiddos. It took me some times to recall back what I've learnt, and I usually don't have answers when the lecturer asked random Qs. I feel really low. But I know this is good. This kind of feeling will eventually boost my spirit, thus creating a good momentum.

I met so many wonderful people here. I can't name them all, ahaha. I love my college mates. I know it's only been a week or so since we know each other, but they're really nice. I can't help it but to give them my love :p I hope this kind of social circle I'm having will maintain, or maybe better after this. But *sigh*, I still miss my school play mates, I miss you girls, you know who you are. I wish we went to the same college. Hihi, that would be fun right.

As for studies, I don't know what got into me nowadays. I feel like I've lost my good, positive aura within me.  I've absolutely no mood to study. This is not good. The only time where I would study is during lectures. Back to hostel, or home, it's really hard to study. Look at me now, I should be studying instead of typing this. hahaha. I've to get my mojo back in studying. It's a must. I'm not a kiasu like what some people claimed me to be. It's just that, I've my reason why I've to study really hard, and constant. My brain works differently from others. It's a bit slow, and it requires lots of revising, memorising and stuff like that to increase its efficiency. I know my capability. I've my own way of studying. Maybe some of you guys are born-genius, lucky those people. Anyway, after this, back to revising. I think I've forgot almost 50% of the past lectures. Hahaha.

This one was from Bio Practical. The lecturer herself asked us to take our camera and captured the result, through the eyepiece! I find it funny, hihi. This is Lyana's. I don't wanna show mine, hodoh :p

Oh yeah, during weekdays I'm staying at Help Residency. My room mate won't be back until September. How cool is that? Having the room to yourself, all the time. Not cool, I'm a freaking Scaredy Cat. It was hard during my first day there, hahaha, especially when the air-cond keeps making loud noises. Anyway, good things come in the morning. I live on level 12. And I can see nice scenery through my window. :)

7+ am in the morning :)

The sun is about to rise!

Night view, and also I found out that my iPad's camera is able to take bokeh pics, how wonderful!

Amir left yesterday. He got the offer to India for Medicine and I believed he was forced to accept the offer. I don't know what to say. Personally, I think one should have the right to plan their own future, and voice out their own opinion. But anyhow, everything happens for a reason. We might not see it now, but we will, in the future. Good luck future Dr. Amir. You'll do great.

Last photo of him at Help Uni 

I think that's about it. Will update from time to time. All of the photos above were taken using my iPad's camera. Starting to love the camera :)

Help!

There are only two things in my check list. Comforter set and boxes. See how clueless I am when it comes to preparing stuff? I haven't receive any e-mail regarding the stuffs needed. I haven't packed my bags! Argh I can't believe it's only next week.

I'll be entering college real soon. I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now. But the most prominent feeling is...I'm scared. My current bloody brain's composition is 10% factual 90% cartoon. I'm soo not ready to swap those two :( 

Assalamualaikum and Hello.

For the past two days, I managed to make full use of my free time(yay, finally). Last Saturday, I decided to ajak Kiki keluar with me. I thought it had been a long time since I met my human friends. I fetch her and we went to Wangsa Walk. Oh and my mum tagged along, because she wanna go to Carefour. The first thing we did when we entered wwalk was..MAKANNNN. Me+Kiki=Monster. So we went to A&W. Ordered a BIG root beer with float. And yes, few food. Hahaha. So, we talked and talked then suddenly Amir Hamzah txt me and asked me and Kiki to teman him to Help College. So, yeah. Ma took the car back and we took the LRT to KL Sentral. 

We (Kiki, Amir, Me) sesat like hell from KL Sentral to Damansara. Hahaha, it was funny shit mangg, I can't describe it here lol. Daripada nak pergi ke Damansara terus tersasar ke Ampang. So last-last, Amir asked me to drive his mpv. Like dude I never drive a MPV! Hahaha, but it was worth the shot. I had fun messing around with his Honda Wald car :p See, when I drove the car, no sesat at all! haha. But luck was not on our side as Help closed on Saturday HAHAA. Damn, so again, Amir asked me to drive to The Curve. Wrong move brother, I never tinggal at Damansara, I dont know the jalan here. So as expected, sesat! But finally sampai juga. Kahkahkah. But it was a day well spent. I had fun and sakit perut gelak here and there. 

Oh and semalam, was a really wonderful day. I went out with Emil. Well, it was too wonderful to even translated into words here. So, yeah. I had so much fun with my man. 

And I was like, 

"Emil, I'm your Gia and you're my Alex" Kahkahkah. 

Or

You can be my King Julien and I'm your Sonya :P



Hahaha, until then,
xo

Hi, how are you?

I ran out of ideas on what to write.

So, recently my hormones have monopolized my emotion. For one second, I'm happy. Then, I'm sad. And the cycle goes on and on. Due to super banyak free time, I tend to think teruk-terukly and create lots of mess in my head. Seriously, at first my mind macam, so serene, relaxed.. and then it became haywire! That's my problem. I need a good, beneficial DISTRACTION, so that there will be no mind-self-destruction.

I've been listing out few plans to do.. One of it, of course spending my time with fellow friends. Talking about 'lepak', sebelum ni I think I kurang jumpa my friends compared dengan dulu-dulu. Honestly, I chose to be socially awkward. Reason? Maybe I need some 'me' time. I don't see any reason of not doing it. Everyone deserves their 'me' time. At least I still interact with my friends in the social networking. That's the use of it anyway, right? Some claimed that I'm being sombong. Just say what you want to say. I need a break from life dramas for a while. But it is a short self-vacation.

Eventho we rarely meet each other, I still secretly hold a meeting with you guys in my brain. No, I'm not a psychopath. I just love imagining. Imagine, and reminiscing. Maybe, its more to reminiscing. If I said I'm imagining you guys in my head, it would sound psychotic eh. So, I'm reminiscing the good memories me and my friends had back then. Maybe, in this way I'll appreciate them more.

Haih, kesitu pula pergi. Okay, running out of words already.

I rarely upload photo dekat sini. So I guess here's one. Goodnight everyone.

“Knock, And He'll open the door

Vanish, And He'll make you shine like the sun

Fall, And He'll raise you to the heavens

Become nothing, And He'll turn you into everything.”  

Assalamualaikum, Peace be upon you.

Biru

Beautiful, incredibly beautiful 

Burn, baby, burn.

Assumptions, Why am I afraid of this word. No, I'm not afraid of the word. I'm afraid of the meaning. I dislike assumptions. I hate assumptions to be more exact. Yes, they said we didn't live to please everybody. I'm not an ignorant, but.. I just hate assumptions. 

Throughout all these tough years in MRSM, I've heard so many rumours about me. Some of them are good, some of them, beyond negative! Fake! They're being so judgemental. Maybe that has shaped me to be a 'trying-to-please-everyone' girl. Rationally, why do you need to please those who is not related to you? 

The closest examples I can give are; 

Last time, I decided to colour my hair. I thought of transforming it to Red Vivid, or light purple. Haha, crazy right? But then, as I entered the salon, I thought to myself, "Haih, what will the society think when they see me with such hair colour?" Having random thoughts, finally I chose a violet black colour. Do you know how does violet black looks like? It's just black colour, but a little bit of violet when the hair is exposed under the sun, or  you can see a little bit of violet if you look closely. And the fun part is, my BASE hair colour is already black. So, Violet Black applied to Black? Exactly, originally black. Lol, my RM200 just wasted like that. Only because I'm afraid of what will others think when they see my vivid hair colour. Sad, isn't it?

I am an active Tumblr n Twitter user. Of course, I use both to express my current feelings, or opinions. There are several times when I did draft few tweets. The moment when I wanna click the 'send' button is when the hesitation occur. And again, I thought "What would they think if I tweet like this? Or maybe someone might get hurt by my statement. Or maybe they will look down on me if I tweet like this." Too many "maybe" and "what ifs". Thus, I decided not to send the the tweets.

Stating the obvious, yes, I have kinda low self-confidence.

Seriously, I don't even want to please everybody. I live my own life and so do you. But then again, I can't help it. I'm not even the nice-girl type. Not even close to it, I think. Now, I'm really looking forward to enter college. So I can re-shaped my attitude. Be more tough, gain more self-confidence. Less socially awkward. Less reserved. Maybe I should have less negative assumptions? Cause this bad perception about me really disturb my emotion. Thus, I can't really focus in my studies thinking how to resolve this so-called problem. Stupid! That's the word. I should be more invincible. I should.

Everyday is a War to me.

My mind, its the Battlefield. 

When and where can I find tranquillity?                  

Vivid Dream

The flood.. Yes, the flood. It's not the usual flood. Its something I've never seen. The water wipes away all the things on the road. I guess it has high pressure, if not how come all the things that were attached to the ground can detached and wiped away. I heard people screaming, I saw people running back and forth because there's absolutely no way out. I headed up to the top. Jumping, running, climbing. I did the things I never thought I could; just to save my life from the pressurized water.

It was havoc! Is it The Day? I felt so cold, so scared. Is it too late for me to repent? Suddenly I saw few fireballs from the sky! Big Fireballs hitting the ground! Swoosh! Everything's gone. I stared with eyes wide open.

"Lord! Forgive my sins! Give me one more chance my Lord to repair my mistakes! Please Lord, give me another chance..Give me at least a day to do something that's right. Please my Lord." -Those were the words that came from my mouth. I wanted to repent. Nobody needs to say what day it was, everybody knows. Things like this will happened. Someday. I know it's too late for me to repent. But I keep on praying, very hard. I cried like a baby. Cried and cried.

Then, the fireballs stopped, the flood has gone.

And....... I open my eyes. It's 8.30 a.m. Thursday. Tears fall down my face, and I thought; "Allah really gave me a second chance."