the time when I felt envious when someone scored higher than me
the time when I felt happy after getting my good result
the time when academic life was...my life
I had these thoughts whilst doing my Chemistry test the other day. The room was quiet, obviously. Only a quarter of the class came up and took the test. Frankly, I would've joined the other party but thinking about Ms Phang, I don't have the heart to skip her class again.
I let my mind wandered, my eyes examined the room blindly during the test. I felt numb. Thinking about my past education life just makes me sad. I never thought I'd end up being this shitty. I only answered 1/4 of the paper as I was honestly not prepared. But I didn't feel sad or disappointed at all. I felt okay though I couldn't answer the paper. With few alibis, I managed to convince myself that everything's fine.
Come to think of it, this is not Atika. Lack of passion, lack of interest, lack of motivation, weak. This is not me. Something has been bothering me, and I need to fix it before I can go on with my normal momentum. But I don't know what went wrong. If you're able to dissect my mind, you can see Forks. All misty, blurry, gloomy. Empty. Empty is what I am.
//sigh//
Exam is in a couple of weeks and I'm 1% ready
On a side note, it'll be nice if i can go to the zoo, or the butterfly park, or the horse riding under kl tower again.
