Dec

Haven't updated myself here for such a long time. Kinda lost that mojo in writing, I don't know what happened. I'm too caught up in studies and life drama(s). Well now I'm on my break until January; study break to be exact.

Life has not been so good to me lately. Well, that's normal right. At least I survived! And I'm still physically and mentally alive. I'm just too tired dealing with all of the drama(s) that I shouldn't even think about at the first place. Sucks being a woman, over-think, over-react, over-expect.

I NEED A CHILL PILL 

Exam is coming in 3 weeks time. Fucking important exam I need to score to apply Uni. Oh, I really hope I would get good result and good university placement there. Away from here, away from all of these shitloads of dramas. I just want to start a new chapter, meet new people, and discover my inner-self.

Is that too much to ask? 

C-c-c-ollege

They said College would be sucks. That was bullshit. College is totally wonderful. Really.

I registered alone. Literally alone. My mother just dropped me off at the main university. With plenty documents in my hand, I tried to look as calm as I could that day. Of course it was a nervous and some what important event of my life. Registering to college, for the first time. Alone. Haha, but I'm used to it, doing stuff alone. To summarize it all up, everyone was wonderful, friendly. I'm really glad by that part; friendly people. The orientation mainly revolved around "subjects briefing, scholarship application, how to choose suitable subjs" etc etc. It was okay, but kinda boring. But I was so glad there's no crappy orientation event like aerobic, ragging and whatnot.

Enough with orientation story (it was a 2 day orientation). It has been almost two weeks since class has started. I got to say that I feel kinda lost in class. I've been placed in a specific group for the recipients, which is Group K. I don't even know what's the point of them doing that. Why can't they just let us mix with others too. Okay, maybe I won't see the reason now, but hopefully one day I'll understand. Being in those group, like I said, really make me feel small, inferior somehow. They are so ultimately genius kiddos. It took me some times to recall back what I've learnt, and I usually don't have answers when the lecturer asked random Qs. I feel really low. But I know this is good. This kind of feeling will eventually boost my spirit, thus creating a good momentum.

I met so many wonderful people here. I can't name them all, ahaha. I love my college mates. I know it's only been a week or so since we know each other, but they're really nice. I can't help it but to give them my love :p I hope this kind of social circle I'm having will maintain, or maybe better after this. But *sigh*, I still miss my school play mates, I miss you girls, you know who you are. I wish we went to the same college. Hihi, that would be fun right.

As for studies, I don't know what got into me nowadays. I feel like I've lost my good, positive aura within me.  I've absolutely no mood to study. This is not good. The only time where I would study is during lectures. Back to hostel, or home, it's really hard to study. Look at me now, I should be studying instead of typing this. hahaha. I've to get my mojo back in studying. It's a must. I'm not a kiasu like what some people claimed me to be. It's just that, I've my reason why I've to study really hard, and constant. My brain works differently from others. It's a bit slow, and it requires lots of revising, memorising and stuff like that to increase its efficiency. I know my capability. I've my own way of studying. Maybe some of you guys are born-genius, lucky those people. Anyway, after this, back to revising. I think I've forgot almost 50% of the past lectures. Hahaha.

This one was from Bio Practical. The lecturer herself asked us to take our camera and captured the result, through the eyepiece! I find it funny, hihi. This is Lyana's. I don't wanna show mine, hodoh :p

Oh yeah, during weekdays I'm staying at Help Residency. My room mate won't be back until September. How cool is that? Having the room to yourself, all the time. Not cool, I'm a freaking Scaredy Cat. It was hard during my first day there, hahaha, especially when the air-cond keeps making loud noises. Anyway, good things come in the morning. I live on level 12. And I can see nice scenery through my window. :)

7+ am in the morning :)

The sun is about to rise!

Night view, and also I found out that my iPad's camera is able to take bokeh pics, how wonderful!

Amir left yesterday. He got the offer to India for Medicine and I believed he was forced to accept the offer. I don't know what to say. Personally, I think one should have the right to plan their own future, and voice out their own opinion. But anyhow, everything happens for a reason. We might not see it now, but we will, in the future. Good luck future Dr. Amir. You'll do great.

Last photo of him at Help Uni 

I think that's about it. Will update from time to time. All of the photos above were taken using my iPad's camera. Starting to love the camera :)

Help!

There are only two things in my check list. Comforter set and boxes. See how clueless I am when it comes to preparing stuff? I haven't receive any e-mail regarding the stuffs needed. I haven't packed my bags! Argh I can't believe it's only next week.

I'll be entering college real soon. I'm not really sure what I'm feeling right now. But the most prominent feeling is...I'm scared. My current bloody brain's composition is 10% factual 90% cartoon. I'm soo not ready to swap those two :( 

Assalamualaikum and Hello.

For the past two days, I managed to make full use of my free time(yay, finally). Last Saturday, I decided to ajak Kiki keluar with me. I thought it had been a long time since I met my human friends. I fetch her and we went to Wangsa Walk. Oh and my mum tagged along, because she wanna go to Carefour. The first thing we did when we entered wwalk was..MAKANNNN. Me+Kiki=Monster. So we went to A&W. Ordered a BIG root beer with float. And yes, few food. Hahaha. So, we talked and talked then suddenly Amir Hamzah txt me and asked me and Kiki to teman him to Help College. So, yeah. Ma took the car back and we took the LRT to KL Sentral. 

We (Kiki, Amir, Me) sesat like hell from KL Sentral to Damansara. Hahaha, it was funny shit mangg, I can't describe it here lol. Daripada nak pergi ke Damansara terus tersasar ke Ampang. So last-last, Amir asked me to drive his mpv. Like dude I never drive a MPV! Hahaha, but it was worth the shot. I had fun messing around with his Honda Wald car :p See, when I drove the car, no sesat at all! haha. But luck was not on our side as Help closed on Saturday HAHAA. Damn, so again, Amir asked me to drive to The Curve. Wrong move brother, I never tinggal at Damansara, I dont know the jalan here. So as expected, sesat! But finally sampai juga. Kahkahkah. But it was a day well spent. I had fun and sakit perut gelak here and there. 

Oh and semalam, was a really wonderful day. I went out with Emil. Well, it was too wonderful to even translated into words here. So, yeah. I had so much fun with my man. 

And I was like, 

"Emil, I'm your Gia and you're my Alex" Kahkahkah. 

Or

You can be my King Julien and I'm your Sonya :P



Hahaha, until then,
xo

Hi, how are you?

I ran out of ideas on what to write.

So, recently my hormones have monopolized my emotion. For one second, I'm happy. Then, I'm sad. And the cycle goes on and on. Due to super banyak free time, I tend to think teruk-terukly and create lots of mess in my head. Seriously, at first my mind macam, so serene, relaxed.. and then it became haywire! That's my problem. I need a good, beneficial DISTRACTION, so that there will be no mind-self-destruction.

I've been listing out few plans to do.. One of it, of course spending my time with fellow friends. Talking about 'lepak', sebelum ni I think I kurang jumpa my friends compared dengan dulu-dulu. Honestly, I chose to be socially awkward. Reason? Maybe I need some 'me' time. I don't see any reason of not doing it. Everyone deserves their 'me' time. At least I still interact with my friends in the social networking. That's the use of it anyway, right? Some claimed that I'm being sombong. Just say what you want to say. I need a break from life dramas for a while. But it is a short self-vacation.

Eventho we rarely meet each other, I still secretly hold a meeting with you guys in my brain. No, I'm not a psychopath. I just love imagining. Imagine, and reminiscing. Maybe, its more to reminiscing. If I said I'm imagining you guys in my head, it would sound psychotic eh. So, I'm reminiscing the good memories me and my friends had back then. Maybe, in this way I'll appreciate them more.

Haih, kesitu pula pergi. Okay, running out of words already.

I rarely upload photo dekat sini. So I guess here's one. Goodnight everyone.

“Knock, And He'll open the door

Vanish, And He'll make you shine like the sun

Fall, And He'll raise you to the heavens

Become nothing, And He'll turn you into everything.”  

Assalamualaikum, Peace be upon you.

Biru

Beautiful, incredibly beautiful 

Burn, baby, burn.

Assumptions, Why am I afraid of this word. No, I'm not afraid of the word. I'm afraid of the meaning. I dislike assumptions. I hate assumptions to be more exact. Yes, they said we didn't live to please everybody. I'm not an ignorant, but.. I just hate assumptions. 

Throughout all these tough years in MRSM, I've heard so many rumours about me. Some of them are good, some of them, beyond negative! Fake! They're being so judgemental. Maybe that has shaped me to be a 'trying-to-please-everyone' girl. Rationally, why do you need to please those who is not related to you? 

The closest examples I can give are; 

Last time, I decided to colour my hair. I thought of transforming it to Red Vivid, or light purple. Haha, crazy right? But then, as I entered the salon, I thought to myself, "Haih, what will the society think when they see me with such hair colour?" Having random thoughts, finally I chose a violet black colour. Do you know how does violet black looks like? It's just black colour, but a little bit of violet when the hair is exposed under the sun, or  you can see a little bit of violet if you look closely. And the fun part is, my BASE hair colour is already black. So, Violet Black applied to Black? Exactly, originally black. Lol, my RM200 just wasted like that. Only because I'm afraid of what will others think when they see my vivid hair colour. Sad, isn't it?

I am an active Tumblr n Twitter user. Of course, I use both to express my current feelings, or opinions. There are several times when I did draft few tweets. The moment when I wanna click the 'send' button is when the hesitation occur. And again, I thought "What would they think if I tweet like this? Or maybe someone might get hurt by my statement. Or maybe they will look down on me if I tweet like this." Too many "maybe" and "what ifs". Thus, I decided not to send the the tweets.

Stating the obvious, yes, I have kinda low self-confidence.

Seriously, I don't even want to please everybody. I live my own life and so do you. But then again, I can't help it. I'm not even the nice-girl type. Not even close to it, I think. Now, I'm really looking forward to enter college. So I can re-shaped my attitude. Be more tough, gain more self-confidence. Less socially awkward. Less reserved. Maybe I should have less negative assumptions? Cause this bad perception about me really disturb my emotion. Thus, I can't really focus in my studies thinking how to resolve this so-called problem. Stupid! That's the word. I should be more invincible. I should.

Everyday is a War to me.

My mind, its the Battlefield. 

When and where can I find tranquillity?                  

Vivid Dream

The flood.. Yes, the flood. It's not the usual flood. Its something I've never seen. The water wipes away all the things on the road. I guess it has high pressure, if not how come all the things that were attached to the ground can detached and wiped away. I heard people screaming, I saw people running back and forth because there's absolutely no way out. I headed up to the top. Jumping, running, climbing. I did the things I never thought I could; just to save my life from the pressurized water.

It was havoc! Is it The Day? I felt so cold, so scared. Is it too late for me to repent? Suddenly I saw few fireballs from the sky! Big Fireballs hitting the ground! Swoosh! Everything's gone. I stared with eyes wide open.

"Lord! Forgive my sins! Give me one more chance my Lord to repair my mistakes! Please Lord, give me another chance..Give me at least a day to do something that's right. Please my Lord." -Those were the words that came from my mouth. I wanted to repent. Nobody needs to say what day it was, everybody knows. Things like this will happened. Someday. I know it's too late for me to repent. But I keep on praying, very hard. I cried like a baby. Cried and cried.

Then, the fireballs stopped, the flood has gone.

And....... I open my eyes. It's 8.30 a.m. Thursday. Tears fall down my face, and I thought; "Allah really gave me a second chance."

Pressure

I would like to ask a very simple question. It's a Yes or No question, simple aite? It only took you around few seconds to answer.

Can you work under pressure?


Yes? No?
I'll mark your words and we will see the validity of your answer; for a long term.
Usually, in an interview session, most people will brag about themselves. I too have claimed that I can work under pressure. It would not be a problem for me. I said that, before knowing what is the taste of the real world


Everyone claims that Medicine is one of the hardest course. Some might said that its the hardest course. But funny thing is, the hardest course is the most popular course among students. Yes? No? I wouldn't want to elaborate on that. Everyone has their own reason, goal, mission; short-term or long-term. The Hardest, The Toughest, all is equivalent to Maximum Pressure will be exerted. Question is,am I that hardcore to withstand all the pressure? In an interview, yes I can always say "Oh, I've prepared myself mentally and physically to handle all the workload." Am I bulshitting the interviewer? Yes, maybe. Its a lie. But I am pretty convinced that the 'lie' will eventually become a reality. InsyaAllah, who knows I'll be the toughest chick (mentality wise).

Okay, why am I suddenly talking about 'pressure'? Before this, I thought I've a strong mentality, able to withstand all the pressure I got. At least, during school that's what I thought. But I was wrong.

With a slight twitch, *boom* I'm the weakest person alive. So many things happened to me, so many unexpected things that caused hell-lot-of pressure to me. Funny thing, most of em are personal problems. How come such personal problems can caused me such pressure and make me feel like the weakest person alive? Where is the 'strong' Atika I thought existed before? It was bullshit. That only existed in my head. Not in real life.

But wait, they said "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?". Personally, I approve this statement. It does make me feel stronger, only after I overcome the pressure. It makes me feel like I should fight more. Leave all the unnecessary problems behind and keep my eyes fixed on the goal. So, I guess this is what they called, the Negative Pressure that gives you a Positive Effect?

Ujian

"Sometimes Allah tests us so that we can see the rainbow after a stormy rain. If we can’t see the rainbow in this world, then inshAllah we can in the Hereafter. Just be strong in your heart and mind! Furnish it with faith, love, trust, and sincerity for the sake of Allah. Make your imagination embroidered with His love and light. InshAllah tranquility and contentment will penetrate into our soul. That is when our imagination triumphs over intelligence. " 
-I saw this quote on Tumblr. 

Honestly, I'm tired of conversation and discussion regarding 'education blablalba'. Seriously, I'm close to giving up with Malaysia's Education System. Its not bias, yeah? No. I don't care. 

Last time, I look at my SPM slip and I am so happy. So happy until I had a thought that my future will be bright, this will be the key to a bright education, I thought. From then, I started to survey scholarship, hoping I would tied to one of those corporate scholarships. Yeah, at that time, you can say that I prioritized scholarships over course. You get what I mean? It means I don't really care what course I'll pursue as long as I get a scholarship. Immature mentality is it? Although my heart said "Medicine!Medicine!Medicine", I ignore it and started preparing my application to few scholarships. IE Axiata, Haha, this is so funny, I thought I'll apply for Axiata for Electrical engineering course. For real? No. That is the impact of getting a good result I guess, you are so bound with all those great scholarships and had a thought "Oh, surely they will pick me pick me!" I know, so immature.

But in the end, I realize. Scholarship is not the important matter now. Why should I do something that I don't like for a good scholarship? I was in a big dilemma as the time for applying scholars was coming to an end. Lastly, I follow my heart. I DIDN'T apply for ANY scholarships. I hope that answers for those who keep on asking me which scholar I get.

Then, I thought I'll wait for UPU or JPA Scholarship announcement. As for JPA, I got the news that they will start their PILN program on 2014 and MOE will give automatic scholarship for Pre U program to those who is eligible. Alhamdulillah I am qualified for the MOE Bursary. I guess that is my only choice. I had no other option. Have to do it. 

The Dilemma strikes again when I had to choose whether to do Foundation (leading to IPTA) or A-Level. I applied for UM. A decision was made, I thought I'll wait for UPU announcement first. My heart said I should go to UM, so I thought I'll choose UM. 

A day before announcement, they called me. They started to questions about my parents and stuff. For real, who is going to continue study, Me or my parents? Does that really matters? I used my uncle's name as guardian. The heck you wanna know about my parents? I have a blue ic card, I am a bumi. A malaysian. I deserved the 'hak asasi bumiputera'. I feel so disappointed. I'm a proud Malaysian, Melayu and I should be treated as one of them. Is that so hard? 

As I expected, I fail to get a place in UM, not even UIA, not even UiTM. I only got and offer to Sarawak. I am still grateful for that. But seriously, I just feel so disappointed. And I thought, "Tidak adil." That was the only word that came into my mind when I found out that I've been rejected by several IPTAs. 

But *sigh*, I try to take everything positively. I believe Almighty had plan a good and clear path for me. I believe in his plan. Have faith in God. Have faith, Have faith. My mother felt sorry for me because I have to face all these rejection and disappointment at young age. But thats okay mother, I will fight for you. I'll fight, because I know you have been through these once. I'll do my best, I'll show them I can be as bright as ever even if I have to fight a lil bit harder. 

For my friends, you guys have chances to study at good institution. You guys have MARA, and several scholars to support you guys. Please use all the chances wisely, please study hard. Yes, study hard and make it worth! ;)

Serious

There will be no more playing after this. There will be no more merepek-ing after this. There will be no more wasting time, or breaking the rules, or fooling around like a kiddy kid. I'm friggin 18 yrs old. I have my own goal. And by hook or by crook, I will achieve it.

Greatest Lesson

Being in a family with moderate income, I may be too comfortable with my life, and sometimes may be too alert. It depends. But most of the time, I would be spending my parents' money on something useless. Getting money from them is effortless. Especially when you are the youngest, of course you will be pampered. I am not excluded.
(My family is not rich. Like I said we are moderate. Please don't get me wrong when I said I can get money effortlessly.)

So, of course, sometimes I might be carried away with all those so-called-happiness on earth. But today, a few persons opened my eyes. Waking me up. Yes.

Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant. Not a lavish one, but okay lah. While we were eating, came a guy, dressed up properly like imam or something. I thought he was going to ask for donation or what. I don't mind people like em, but sometimes it annoys me (bukan apa, ada yang menipu. Or ada agensi yang paksa mengemis, kesian juga.) But I was wrong. Well, I was not wrong about he came from any rumah anak yatim. Ahaha. But he didn't ask for donation. He came right up to us. Like a professional businessman, he introduced himself and said that the Rumah anak yatim(I dont remember where) had bake a lot of "Kek Lapis Sarawak" and they intent to sell them. It is freshly baked by them. I was.. oh, there are effort, at least. And to my surprise, he sold it with a really cheap price for a 'Kek Lapis Sarawak'. So I got myself a Cheese Kek Lapis Sarawak. Hehe, there were lots of flavour; pandan, chocolate, hazel, cheese, blueberry etc etc. I was amazed. I never seen any guy from Rumah Anak Yatim do an extra effort to gain money like this before. Well I don't know abt you guys, ahaha. I was really touched by his determination. (Y)

So, afterwards, I went out of the restaurant. I only have RM 10 inside my purse. So, I thought of buying a prepaid. Coz I was in need of Celcom topup at that time. Lucky me, I saw a booth selling topup at that time. So yeah, I wait for the S/A to layan me. Suddenly I saw an OKU guy. He was kinda old. Probably in his 40s or 50s. He sat there on his wheelchair, with a tiny table in front of him. There sat a box of pens. Lots of pens, it was in packet actually. At the front of the table, there was a label said "1 paket 5 pen RM10 :)". Sadly nobody even stopped to look at him. He was there, neglected. His packets of pens were still many. Its like nobody even bought them. When I looked at his face, there was no sign of sadness, or how frustating he was because nobody cares about him. Yet, he still sat there, relax and always smilling. Again, I was amazed by his determination to get his nafkah. For his family, for himself. He didn't ask for donation..he was just selling his pens there. I was so freaking touched. At last, I cancelled my intention to bought the prepaid. I walked towards him and I said with a smile, "Pak Cik, saya ada RM10 je. Saya nak satu paket pen ni boleh, pak cik?". I can tell by his face that he was so happy and he said, "Boleh nak, sila pilih pen warna apa awak nak." I smiled at him and I took random pens. Then he said Thank you and smiled. I didn't know what to say, I just smile. Afterwards I saw him again, with his wheelchair, he was struggling at the basement, wheeling towards his old proton saga. It was really hard for him to open his door and get in. To my surprise, a few kind hearted young guys came and helped him get up from his wheelchair and all. I sat at the corner and just smile.

And deep inside my heart, I whisper to myself, "I wish there are more people like this in the world. The earth would be a better place to live."

Relationship

'Do you want to bring books today? I mean it is your exam week, you should study.' "No, today Imma concentrate 100% on Tika :)"

Believe me, those words make me melt more and more. I am really convinced by his love. I know we're still young to actually involve in a serious relationship. But the evaluation starts here. If he treats me badly now, he might do the same if we're married. But so far, he never treat me wrong. I wonder where would we go after this. How long will our love last. Are we going to achieve those everlasting moment; marriage?

I'm sorry, I know I'm just 18 and some might think that I don't have any rights yet to talk about marriage. I don't mean that I want to marry at early age, No. I want to finish my Degree and work first. Yeah, but we do need future planning right? Plus, I'm the type of girl who will accept to be in a relationship IF and only if both of us know where are we going in the future. We have one purpose; serious relationship. Yeah, I made mistake before. I was too young when I was in my first ever relationship before. But forget that, I'm not living in the past anyway.

It's kinda cheesy talking about this. Ehehe, but I do have some plans in mind. And I really hope this relationship will last forever. Amin.

Chance

Brain death is the irreversible end of all brain activity due to total necrosis of the cerebral neurons following loss of brain oxygenation. Necrosis in a simpler language is the death of cells. By looking at the words 'Brain Death', you obviously know the meaning.

Why am I posting about brain death? Well, maybe because I just faced with a really close brain-death experience. Only God knows how grateful I am. Brain death can occur if you hit your head really hard. At first, it might seems nothing. You might seems okay. But the effect is afterwards. Have you watch Grey's Anatomy? I don't remember which episodes. But it was about two sisters involved in accident. They were admitted to the hospital. They can still argue, blaming each other. Both seems really fine, just bruises here and there. But after that, her sister suddenly had epilepsy (if I'm not mistaken) and bloods running down her nose. The doctors brought her to the surgical room. And yes, she was brain-dead. Meaning her brain is dead ( isn't that obvious ), but her organs are still working perfectly. And usually the organs can be donated to the needy.

So, back to my story. I was cleaning my toilet this morning. My bad, I didn't wear the anti-slip slipper. Just bare foot. Scrubbing the toilet floor like a makcik. Maybe I put too much Kiwi Kleen, and the floor becomes too slippery. I scrub and scrub when suddenly I don't know why my feet lost its balance. For a second, I can't feel the floor. And I feel like I'm flying. I swear my heart stopped beating that time. I closed my eyes, praying Oh God please save me. Luckily, Adrenaline flowed through my body. That makes my body stronger, more alert. Upon landing my head first to the floor (haha) my hand, as fast as lightning, grabbed the bath tub holder. Ya Allah, thanks for that, I managed to avoid my head from hitting the floor first and received all the impact from my body. It was still painful, since my body landed first. But syukur, my head was okay, tergantung liddat since I sempat hold the bath tub holder. If not, my head would hit the floor yang keras so bad, and receive the impact from my body sangat banyak. Syukur, syukur. If not, I could become sewel by now, maybe some part of my brain will be injured? Ya Allah, thanks for giving me a chance to live :')

Yes, you might think its no big deal. Jatuh dekat toilet? Biasa lah tu. As a scientific student, I don't see it like that. I always think about the long term effect. How would it affect my head if I hit really hard? How would it affect my thinking? and etc etc. So yeah, it is kinda big deal.

And anyway, I'm suffering from body aching now, probably the long term effect after hitting my body really hard. But no problem, Yoko Yoko to the rescue.
Till then.

Lips.

I'm not abandoning this blog. Its either I ran out of idea on what to write, or I am just a lazy bastard who doesn't have a perfect life to share with everybody. Anyway, lots of things happened recently. Literally banyak. There are good things, bad things. Biasalah, life as you know it. I'm not going to update everything here. Because the fact that I'm a lazy ass told me to do so. Ha-ha. So, let me break down the topic into more detailed area.

Health & Living
I am so ashamed of myself. Ever since I arrived in Malaysia, I automatically turned into a piggy pig. You know what I mean? Like a pig, I eat a lot, I sleep a lot, I drink a lot, I don't do any exercise, I shit a lot. Lol. Seriously, what have I become? At Ireland, at least I've got exercises to do; swimming. Yes, I freaking love swimming. It makes me feel like a mermaid. I want to swim swim but the fact that I don't know where is actually a good place to swim and the extra-ordinary heat from the sun have hindered my noble intention. Jogging? Hmm, No! Why? Because Kuala Lumpur is freaking polluted man! Treadmill? Hmm, my sister uses the treadmill as the place to hang her clothes. So, no space for me to run run LOL

A proof that my treadmill is unusable LOL

My reaction if you ajak me go jog jog :p

Hobbies

Photography? I'm so sad when it comes to Photography. The fact that my laptop is dead already makes me lost my precious photo editor, Adobe Photoshop. Bitch please, we are living in a world whereby photographers use DIGITAL slr. Due to lots of frames that needed to be passed, of course the color, resolution, pixels and etc etc won't be accurate in a digital photo. That's why I need my Adobi (my photoshop's manja name). So, right now I didn't do any photography activity. So kesian my Obi-Wan, (my dslr's manja name) bosan sebab tak dapat tangkap any beautiful photos. Sabar ye Obi-Wan, nanti Mama Tika betulkan laptop okay? xxx

Pets! Yes! I'm a girl with a big heart for animal! Specifically feline and all furry animals. Since I don't have anything to do, I've adopted a hedgehog, and a kitten. My best friend, Sheera and I also went to SPCA to spend time with our furry friends. And I swear, I almost cried looking at the animals' condition there. It was a nice move me and Sheera went there. At least we got a little bit of exposure of what the other side of the world look like. Tak tengok lagi bab manusia. *Sigh*. I've promised myself, if insyaAllah my result SPM okay, I want to do charity works. InsyaAllah.

My New Kitten: Bobot :3

Social Life & Education

Talking about social life, I didn't get to see all of my friends pun. It's okay. I understand that everyone is busy with their own plans. :/ But thank god, there is my little Emil Qadri who is willing to spend time with me although he is busy with his foundation :). Last time I met with few Taiping friends. It was okay, although things were a bit awkward because I dah lama tak jumpa mereka. But, yeah I miss them! I met Sarah during edu fair. Honestly, I planned so many outings with my friends but only 10-20% of them yang menjadi :( But I don't blame them.
Next week result SPM! Ya Allah, I feel numb. I don't know what will be written in that small slip. I'm praying everyday hoping that God grants my wish :'( I dreamed about taking SPM and getting the result most of the time! It's like haunting me, in real life and in dream land! Gosh, I really hope I'll pass with flying colors. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.
I also went to Education Fair, studying in UK last time. It is more suitable for people who finished their pre-University programs. But tak salah kan I nak bertanya-tanya juga. I went to the seminar, and few booths. I asked about three course; Medicine (of course), Veterinary Science, and Molecular Biology/Bioscience. At least from now, I got a clear path on what I will do later.
Oh oh, I also attend Art Class at Malaysian Institute of Art. It was fun! :3

Ok, people. Trust me, if you let me update in this single post, it will be endless!!
Haha, so till the next post
:D

Like A Ninja

It's been such a long time eyh.

Please tell me what actually happened when I'm off to Ireland?

Being the person I shud really be

Oh, I admit it. It ain't easy. On and off.. on and off. This starts to annoy me. I'm annoyed with myself as I can't keep up with the good momentum. -_- Sometimes I feel so motivated. But in a split of second, these stupid satanic voice managed to distract me. Oh Lord, I seek forgiveness, please forgive me and strengthen my Iman. T.T So disappointed with myself. Hopefully when I get back to Malaysia I can push myself and maintain the good momentum!

Oh and last time I tried to put on this selendang and I like this style. If I were going to wear this for good later, I'll wear it like this hihi :3

Anyway sorry for the so mengada pose :P haha
cheerio!
Bye

Masih Keliru.

Sepatutnya sekarang ni semua orang dah tetapkan dalam hati masing-masing course apa mereka nak ambil, lagipun borang UPU semua dah isi. Dah ada yang masuk University. Either private or under any scholar. Sekurang-kurangnya everyone dah nampak lah siapa mereka 10 tahun akan datang.

Sejujurnya, saya ni jenis yang mudah terpengaruh. Memang dalam hati dah ada niat nak sangat pursue Medicine. Medicine medicine medicine. *sigh*. Tapi fikir-fikir balik, dengan course yang agak susah ni, time-constraint nya lagi. I macam kena fikir 2 or 3 kali nak ambik ke tak. But borang UPU, of course most of my choice of Uni semua nak pursue course Medic. But lately, I've been thinking about a job, maybe some of you might laugh at me. Some of you might underestimate me perhaps? Even my parents look down on me when I said I'm considering another course beside Medic. What is it? Lol, I can't believe I'm saying this. But I'm thinking of being a Veterinary. Yes yes, medic jugak kan, tapi for animal :D                                                            

Source: Google Image

The thing is, I like reading articles about health and stuff. But day after days, my passion towards animal lagi kuat lah :3 Maybe holiday dekat Ireland makes me like that. Sebab dekat sini, rasa close to nature. Dengan lots of cute animal nya lagi. But I'm not sure yet, because fikir tak ramai orang ambik this course and peluang pekerjaannya lagi. *sigh* Actually, this is one of my dream job since I kecik lagi. I memang jenis suka binatang. Dulu pernah bela banyak jenis animal. From sea fishes, sampailah ayam serama cantik. I really want to feel close to them, learn their behavior, and help them. Impian since kecik ni.Haha. 

But, apa-apa pun, semuanya rely on my SPM result. If result okay, maybe boleh try Medic, insyaAllah :) I really hope I boleh dapat good result. Amin. 

Alasan saya.

Kenapa saya merasakan bahawa sesetengah golongan remaja mempamerkan sikap yang kadang-kadang boleh membuatkan saya tergelak? Saya juga remaja. Saya faham naluri dan perasaan remaja. Kenapa saya berkata begitu? Adalah alasannya. Saya lihat beberapa golongan remaja kini terlampau mencuba untuk menjadi sesuatu yang bukan diri mereka.

Come on people. Be genuine, who you really are. Inikah golongan yang diberi harapan tinggi untuk memajukan negara kelak? Mengenal diri sendiri pun tidak, masakan mahu memimpin dan mengenali negara sendiri? Saya kurang faham di sini. Masalah sosial memang begitu membarah sekarang. Terutamanya dalam kalangan mereka yang baru sahaja menghabiskan kertas SPM mereka.

Zaman selepas SPM inilah yang ditunggu-tunggu oleh setiap remaja. Di mana mereka seloah-olah mendapat kebebasan yang teramat sangat. Konon-kononnya sudah terlepas dari bebanan sekolah. Merasakan diri mereka sudah besar dan layak melakukan apa-apa sahaja kerana kata mereka, saya sudah tidak perlu memakai uniform sekolah. Dan pada masa ini jugalah, ramai yang terlalai sebentar ke sana ke sini mencuba benda baru. Al-maklumlah, nafsu melebihi segala-galanya.

Seharusnya, masa lapang selepas SPM ini haruslah digunakan sebaik-baiknya. Bukannya digunakan hanya untuk tujuan hiburan dan perkara yang membazir masa, wang dan tenaga sahaja.
Our prophet, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w once said, "There are two things that people may take for granted, one, their health. second, their time (masa lapang)"
Marilah bermuhasabah diri, selama berbulan selepas SPM ini, berapa banyak perkara faedah yang kita lakukan. Gunalah masa lapang ini dengan sebaik-baiknya. Janganlah gunakannya untuk melayan nafsu anda yang tidak akan pernah puas itu. Kuatkan diri, kuatkan iman. Majulah bangsa untuk negara.
Haha.

Hello

For some reason, I don't have any idea on what to post in this humble blog of mine. I've been thinking on few issues, but as always, I'm too lazy to elaborate on it. Okaylah, lets do random talk here because I don't have anything particular in mind.

So, recently I've been listening to lots of videos, songs to be exact. because I never actually seen the video. I just clicked the play button and open another tab. Old songs to be exact. When I heard these song, I started to think, 'What the fuck happened to our music industry nowadays?' Quality in a song is the most important thing. There should be a positive message in every song. Even the people in the Renaissance era used music as medium to express their emotions. So, that will explain why classic music has better quality. Look at music nowadays. Mostly revolve around girls, sexy girls, sex, clubbing, fuck. Haiyah, if you're so lapar one, go marry someone lah. Do it legally. Don't have to express your horny feeling to others :s 

So, one of the music that I've been listening to is 

Hihi, I know this sounds kinda cheezy lol. But I can't help but to smile. And every time I listen to this song, the picture of him smiling appear in my head. Cheezzzzzzy much? Sorry *vomit skarang*.  x)

Amagadzz, its Elton John people. Random fact about me, I can easily cry listening to this kind of song. Lol, really sweet one. I bet if he is willing to sing this for me, I'll cry on the spot jugak. Haha. 

Okay, dua pun cukuplah. Tooooo cheezy weeeeezyy hihi, sorry i can't help it. I'm not being cheesy ke apa. Its just me being me. 

New

You're at your top while I'm at my low.

Where is the dynamic equilibrium

I thought such thing exist in us all

Do you ever think of coming up to me and ask me what is wrong

Or even, how are you

No.

Bye

Tumblr

I think I've moved on from flickr to tumblr. My flickr is like dead already.

http://atikasafiraherman.tumblr.com/

bye.

sorry i changed my link hihi

Bismillah.

Ya Allah. Kesiannya kucing Hero. Kenapa masih ada manusia sekejam itu? Tidak layak dipanggil manusia. And worse than animal. Semoga kucing Hero sentiasa sihat.

And and, the guy who saved him is officially my idol. Sangat terharu dengan tindakannya. Dan pabila dia menitiskan air matanya, I cried too. I can feel him. So sad. Mulianya hati lelaki ini. Moga-moga diberkati Allah. Amin.

Told chu justice will prevail.

Alhamdulillah

The Big Game of Monopoly

Everyone deserves the justice and freedom. For god sake, at the end of the day everyone will know. Justice will stands up, either saving the innocent one or convincing the right one.

For god sake, stop all the fucking moronic game you guys are playing! Ugh!!

You Da One

Now this is what I defined as music. 

Regarding to the video, it's obviously a love song. So it sync with what I'm gonna write tonight, love, lol this is awkward.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is from my point of view.

Love is subjective. Love is such a big word, with a deep and big meaning. Lucky those people who are blessed with two eyes not only can see physical things but also can see love in the air, lalalala. So, I'm going to narrow the definition of love, which is love towards the opposite sex (sounds a bit formal there..)

Every people has different opinion on love towards the opposite sex. Some people are so against this type of love due to certain reason, which I would not tell because this may cause sensitive issue. But some people are so into this kind of love until they did not know how to control it thus leading to a sinned word, "Lust". Extremely positive and Extremely negative, or in between? Like seriously, nobody will going to give instruction to you or ask you to choose whichever path you want. It's all lies in you. Whether you want to make a good outcome from your love or a bad one. Need to say more about the outcomes? 

Say, if you're too obsessed with this type of love, you're willing to do like almost anything for this love. ANYTHING. Abandoning your obligations towards your religion (life and death issue), family, friends, works, study and almost everything that has to do with your life. I've seen people like this before, and trust me, this love will never going to work. You can't focus on one thing too much. You need those Dynamic Equilibrium, not in Physics only, but in Life too. You get what I mean? 

And vice versa. (lol sorry for being too lazy to write but I'm sure you guys know)

Friends, I know you guys already know all the pro(s) and con(s) if you are giving commitment to this kind of love. This is just a reminder.

And especially to the kids who are still studying but you can't help but to fall in love with someone, it's okay as long as you won't neglect your studies. You need to open your eyes and learn how to prioritize things. Study is the utmost important things (after your obligations to God and family of course). This is the phase which will going to determine what you are going to be in the next 10 years and so on. That is why you have to put your studies above your girlfriend or boyfriend in your list. Hold on there, God will gives you chances to hunt for your true love. 

Remember, God already plans what's the best for you!

xx

Resolution 2012

I promised myself that I would do this.

http://www.spca.org.my/v51/supportus_volunteer.php

and also..

http://www.spca.org.my/v51/supportus_kawan.php

Stop animal abusing today. The change is in your hands.