Ujian

"Sometimes Allah tests us so that we can see the rainbow after a stormy rain. If we can’t see the rainbow in this world, then inshAllah we can in the Hereafter. Just be strong in your heart and mind! Furnish it with faith, love, trust, and sincerity for the sake of Allah. Make your imagination embroidered with His love and light. InshAllah tranquility and contentment will penetrate into our soul. That is when our imagination triumphs over intelligence. " 
-I saw this quote on Tumblr. 

Honestly, I'm tired of conversation and discussion regarding 'education blablalba'. Seriously, I'm close to giving up with Malaysia's Education System. Its not bias, yeah? No. I don't care. 

Last time, I look at my SPM slip and I am so happy. So happy until I had a thought that my future will be bright, this will be the key to a bright education, I thought. From then, I started to survey scholarship, hoping I would tied to one of those corporate scholarships. Yeah, at that time, you can say that I prioritized scholarships over course. You get what I mean? It means I don't really care what course I'll pursue as long as I get a scholarship. Immature mentality is it? Although my heart said "Medicine!Medicine!Medicine", I ignore it and started preparing my application to few scholarships. IE Axiata, Haha, this is so funny, I thought I'll apply for Axiata for Electrical engineering course. For real? No. That is the impact of getting a good result I guess, you are so bound with all those great scholarships and had a thought "Oh, surely they will pick me pick me!" I know, so immature.

But in the end, I realize. Scholarship is not the important matter now. Why should I do something that I don't like for a good scholarship? I was in a big dilemma as the time for applying scholars was coming to an end. Lastly, I follow my heart. I DIDN'T apply for ANY scholarships. I hope that answers for those who keep on asking me which scholar I get.

Then, I thought I'll wait for UPU or JPA Scholarship announcement. As for JPA, I got the news that they will start their PILN program on 2014 and MOE will give automatic scholarship for Pre U program to those who is eligible. Alhamdulillah I am qualified for the MOE Bursary. I guess that is my only choice. I had no other option. Have to do it. 

The Dilemma strikes again when I had to choose whether to do Foundation (leading to IPTA) or A-Level. I applied for UM. A decision was made, I thought I'll wait for UPU announcement first. My heart said I should go to UM, so I thought I'll choose UM. 

A day before announcement, they called me. They started to questions about my parents and stuff. For real, who is going to continue study, Me or my parents? Does that really matters? I used my uncle's name as guardian. The heck you wanna know about my parents? I have a blue ic card, I am a bumi. A malaysian. I deserved the 'hak asasi bumiputera'. I feel so disappointed. I'm a proud Malaysian, Melayu and I should be treated as one of them. Is that so hard? 

As I expected, I fail to get a place in UM, not even UIA, not even UiTM. I only got and offer to Sarawak. I am still grateful for that. But seriously, I just feel so disappointed. And I thought, "Tidak adil." That was the only word that came into my mind when I found out that I've been rejected by several IPTAs. 

But *sigh*, I try to take everything positively. I believe Almighty had plan a good and clear path for me. I believe in his plan. Have faith in God. Have faith, Have faith. My mother felt sorry for me because I have to face all these rejection and disappointment at young age. But thats okay mother, I will fight for you. I'll fight, because I know you have been through these once. I'll do my best, I'll show them I can be as bright as ever even if I have to fight a lil bit harder. 

For my friends, you guys have chances to study at good institution. You guys have MARA, and several scholars to support you guys. Please use all the chances wisely, please study hard. Yes, study hard and make it worth! ;)